Wednesday, December 16, 2009


It was dishonest to the point where dishonest no longer fully tackles its definition. When it leans magnetically towards denial instead.

I have considered, perhaps too often*, the significance...significance.

It always feels different but nothing has changed.
The day after.
Play with touch, enhancers, chemicals, water, bubbles. Glass, concrete and paint.
Everything glitters, sticks, or shines.
Eyes are glass and teeth are porcelain.
It feels so different but nothing has changed.
And every time I tell myself this, I sigh. Breathing, but my heart pounds frantically all day. She told me it might be palpitations but it’s not.
Each time, less minutes and hours pass. Am I wiser?
All I really realize is that everyone is searching for one thing.
It no longer matters that we tattoo crosses over hearts and hateful latin words onto our wrists and fingers. It no longer matters what we say when they ask.
Have you found someone?

You are lying in bed and you look over to the person next to you. You feel guilty that he seems to have some kind of tainted distraction. You want music but there is no stereo.
You know, you know you need it.
For every no in denial.

I realize once I have stepped into my own room that I was wrong in this too.
One day passes and I feel sorry.
Three days and I regret everything. Everything is temporary and fragile,
loose and tied in a knot by a cheap rubber band.

I have tried confirming that the universe controls so many things that are unaware of being controlled.
And I can't use the term universe properly, because I know not what it signifies.
But many logical things cannot be proven by evolution.
The ones that seem most complicated are the ones that should be treated as simple.
when thought about in simpler terms.
you are here to evolve.
you are here to grow.
and yet we build video games and go sterile.
So there are dangers with everything, if twisted around correctly.

* = your definition of the word

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