Tuesday, February 2, 2010

All is anxious

The lady's perfume is transmitted through the window.
We are only forty centimeters apart yet we are in separate spheres.
her behind the glass, me on the outside.
I can smell her perfume.
I dislike it.

I am a mess today.
I dislike the word, but I am a MESS.
I wish I was not.

One of my enemies is humidity.
It might seem terrible to have such an archenemy. But he is here and he dislikes me too.
It seems that this humidity takes on the worst characteristics.
Of the dirt collector, repelling lubricant, air destroyer.
all worse than the hand grenade, my favorite weapon.

I am a mess.
I am a hairball stuck in my own eye, ripping it out, and putting it back in.
I am a hairy sweater that I hate
all the angora is flying and it goes straight into my eye
always my left eye, for some reason.

The messy days always contain it.
These thin fibers and,
the insects that appear only here on those days.

Last friday it was a huge lizard in an industrial area.
The area where airplanes hung low and almost touched the low-quality rooftops of buildings.
Car insurance and bad oxygen hung in the air.
We drove past that pharmacy where I always would think I would get robbed.

I am thinking in very narrow hallways and steps.
The air is charged with negative negative negativity.
I miss the people I felt nothing of hours ago.
I long for one in New York and one in another dimension.
Lonelily this donut covers all settings of technology yet this humidity covers better than honey.

When I was younger I enjoyed honey mustard sauce.
I drank tea with honey and milk.
I attempted eating Greek yogurt with honey.
Today I speak of no such thing.

Today I am angry and sitting very much alone on top of a streetlight.
I think of shoes tied by their laces,
together much apart.
Not worldly.
Much like Amelie as a little girl, disturbing her hateful neighbor's football game.
Much like her industrial loneliness, eerie but not cold.
Much like all other things unexplainable in certain moments.
Such is this moment today.
I am far from scared and far from shaky.

All is anxious
and all is charged.

All is negative,
and most is fake.

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