Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Waking up was not difficult.
eating breakfast was not a thought.
Picking clothes was unneccessary, for they already hung on a chair.
Or from the top of the closet door.
A white wooden door, clunk clunk.
Hated, it was.
But it was organized and needed no such judgement in hindsight.
It might ruin the story.

Putting on socks was not a hassle,
shutting of the TV required no OCD.
Looking out the window was scary, and often avoided.
Wiping the wetness off the saddle of the bike was annoying.
It was not beautiful.
Mist was not beautiful.

But what had changed now?
All these complex feelings were not so complex.
There had existed a fair number of few emotions and feelings to be felt.

And now.
It is maybe six years later. Maybe even five.
I doubt it, because it is probably seven.
I am nineteen years old but going on the next year.
The year where this stated youth will disappear numerically.

My walls used to be purple and white.
I had a large TV screen in my room.
I always have thought I knew much about the future, much about the past.
I often believed in a current situation.
I often dramatize most acts.
I fall asleep during movies, games, drama.
Drama bores me so.

I want to cling on to you like a monkey.
I want you to understand me through interlaced legs.
I want to be an animal today, just an animal.
i have no need for this sweater or these shoes.
I only want to be in two.
Only want to be in one.
I do not care for splitting today.

I grew up using cameras with film.
I have always seen this new technology age in front of me
I always see myself say,
wow this piece of equipment was huge.
heavy!
fragile!
so easy to scratch.
so subtle to break.

I am so very confused today.
Maybe because I know myself so well today.
Too well today.
So bad.
No good,
i am distrubed by all the words.
I am annoyed like a guinea pig poked by a human.
She jumps at the startling touch and hates being teased.
I hate being teased today.
I am such a tease today.

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